Gwyneth Paltrow is spending time in introspection of her decade-long marriage to Coldplay frontman Chris Martin.
In a detailed essay with British Vogue, the actress laid bare the inside scoop of her nuptials with the leading singer.
“We just didn’t quite fit together. But man, did we love our children,” wrote Paltrow, who shares daughter Apple, 16, and son Moses, 14, with Martin.
“Between the day that I knew and the day we finally relented to the truth, we tried everything,” she explained. “We did not want to fail. We didn’t want to let anyone down. We desperately didn’t want to hurt our children. We didn’t want to lose our family.”
The Goop founder revealed that there was”always a bit of unease and unrest” during marriage with the Paradise crooner.
“I bent myself into every imaginable shape to avoid answering them,” she recalled. “But one day, despite all our efforts, I found that I was not at a fork in the road. I was well down a path. Almost without realizing it, we had diverged. We’d never find ourselves together in that way again.”
In 2014, Paltrow and Martin announced their split as “conscious uncoupling” — a term the actress says was introduced to them by their therapist.
“I was intrigued, less by the phrase, but by the sentiment,” Paltrow said. “Was there a world where we could break up and not lose everything? Could we be a family, even though we were not a couple? We decided to try.”
She continued, “When we made a commitment to approach our separation this way, and about a year before we introduced the phrase to the world, we put it to the test. It was hit and miss.”
“We had great days and terrible days,” the mother of two said. “Days when we couldn’t stand each other, but forced ourselves to remember what we were aiming for. Somehow finding a way to smile and hug, and take the kids out for brunch like we had planned.”
Talking about her dynamic with Martin post-split, Paltrow said, “I know my ex-husband was meant to be the father of my children, and I know my current husband is meant to be the person I grow very old with.”